What Is Your Parenting Style?Undoubtedly, many parents' styles are molded by the parental models they had as children. Ultimately, our goal as parents is to raise a child that is productive, kind, and positive, with a high self-esteem (for the most part). Psychologists and social scientists have developed three basic categories for parenting styles. They have also determined the practices that are most effective and are more likely to result in positive outcomes in children.
One parenting style is known as "Authoritarian." Authoritarian parents always try to be in control and exert their control onto their children. These parents generally set strict rules in order to maintain order. Their need for order is coupled with a minimal amount of warmth and affection. They attempt to set strict expectations for behavior and are very critical of children whenever they fall short of the parents' standards. They tell children what to do by ordering them and very rarely are choices or options given. Parents tend to focus on negative behavior, rather than pointing out what the child is doing well. And children are often scolded, quite harshly, for not doing what they are "supposed to."
As a result of having an authoritarian parent, children usually do not learn to think for themselves and understand why the parent is demanding a certain behavior.
A second parenting style is "Permissive." Permissive parents are on the opposite end of the spectrum from authoritarian parents. They generally give up most control to their children. They make few, if any, rules, and when they do, they often fail to follow through on enforcing them. They don't want to be confined to routines. They want their children to feel free. Permissive parents are also known to lack consistency.
Permissive parents give children as many choices as possible. They tend to accept their child's behavior, positive or negative. These parents may feel unable to change misbehavior, or they choose not to invest the effort to do so.
The other parenting style determined by psychologists and social scientists is referred to as "Democratic" or "Authoritative." Democratic parents help children to make responsible choices and to think about the consequences for their behavior. These parents accomplish this by providing clear, reasonable expectations for their child and it's followed by an explanation for why. These parents also follow through on monitoring the rules in place and consequences. They do this in a loving manner. Democratic parents also focus on pointing out the good behavior demonstrated by their child, more so than the bad behavior. They give choices based on their child's ability and guide behavior by teaching, not always punishing.
For some parents, their parenting style is dead-on with one of the descriptions mentioned, while others may fall in between. The important thing to think about is what you want your child to learn. Research on children's behavior has shown that parents that use the democratic style, result in the most positive outcomes for their children. On the other hand, children with parents that are more authoritarian tend to be compliant and submissive, with low self-esteems. Also, children with permissive parents have resulted in a greater tendency to act out and be aggressive.
No matter what your parenting style, one thing that must be present is a loving bond between parent and child.
These tips were reproduced from the U.S. Department of Education.
How To
Raise Respectful Children
As
parents, we have to compel our children to be as respectful as possible. We
must help them to realize the value that empathy, compassion, humility, and
altruism, can have when it comes to living in our world. From the time that
children are toddlers, they will start to understand limits. By being consist
and stern, when needed, children learn that there is a "right way" to
do things, and a "wrong way" of doing things. Whether it's taking a
toy and making another child cry, or breaking something that belongs to someone
else. When corrected, children start to learn to be conscientious and more
considerate of others, their feelings and property. It is our job to teach them
the right way, encouraging them with positive reinforcement when they do well.
Here are
a few ways to teach and foster respect in your children:
1. Be a
fantastic pattern before them. Don't let your children see you being mean,
inconsiderate, or confrontational. Your children are more likely to do as you
do as opposed to doing just what you say. Your actions matter, for better or
worse.
2. Make
them acknowledge their mistake. Do your best not to sweep every instance of
their ill-behavior under the proverbial rug. By recognizing when they have
offended someone or used poor judgment, and making them accept and correct the
situation, you will help them to be more mindful of their actions. Hopefully,
your child will start to understand the effect of their behavior on others.
3. Teach
manners at home. Basic etiquette is a must-have. Children need it as much as
adults. If you teach them proper etiquette, others will definitely take notice.
Your parenting skills will be applauded and your child will feel better about
themselves knowing that they are carrying themselves with pride and poise.
4. Follow
the rules. Prison is a bad place. It is where we send people who do not follow
rules, that ignore laws, and are combative against authority. We never want our
children to be like that. Help your children to learn and appreciate the
importance of following rules. Setting limits helps everyone stay safe. It is
one of the most basic life preserving techniques that we have.
Your children are constantly growing. Your attention to them and their behavior will be instrumental in their development as productive members of society. Respect is a wonderful thing. No matter who you are, queen, trashman, or secretary, your ability to show respect will make others feel compelled to respect you as well. Being respectful can make your children's lives happier, safer, and more prosperous.
How Can
We Learn To Practice More Patience With Our Children?